Modern

The modern understanding of what a woman is and does is empowering to some. But to others it leaves them with a choice... be a mother or have the children suffer the unintended consquences of having a mother whose attention is split between the need for a paycheck and loyalty to her family.

It's this crossroads of life that has paralyzed me for years. So I sit at the stop sign and wait, looking both ways. I tried to cross once and was hit by a speeding 18-wheeler. Miraculously, I survived. Now, I look for direction from those who have chosen their path before.

Those without children often are teary-eyed and full of regret. Even though they will stand up and say it was for the best, in their hearts they know that no one will be there for them when they get old. I fear this more than death itself, the knowledge that I had my chance to build a legacy, to leave a lasting mark on this world long before I leave. Die-hard careerists will tell you that its the work that leaves an indellible impression. But as I entered my 30s I came to the realization that Barbara Bush was right. "No one will read your resume at your funeral."

Yet there are those who strive to have it all, but in the process end up creating nothing - or worse, children so independent that they find it difficult to rely on anyone but themselves. Those who have chosen to work and have kids, these days, schedule the kids tighter than they are in an effort to achieve balance and normalcy. In the 80s, we were called latch-key kids, because we let ourselves into the house while mom was still at work. Now, kids are scheduled to the hilt with a myraid of activities meant to fill their time and "teach" them. But the plain truth is this. All of the karate, soccer, birthday parties and playdates won't make up for one on one time with their mom.

So enters the woman who doesn't work, extremely loved and respected by her children, yet so disdained and disrespected by the business world that she often wonders what she's doing wrong. Women who chose the path of work and kids resent her. Women who don't have kids wish they were bold enough to make the choice. Inside, she has the resolve and reward that comes from raising a child, a feat not appreciated enough in today's society.

So, all of this advancement and pride in women shattering the glass ceiling, what is the cost? Are we acheiving it at the price of our children's childhood? Or is there some mythical balance where today's woman truly can have it all?